Things That Suck About CPTSD

I won't lie. I've been having a really rough time of it lately. I really haven't wanted to sit down and write this blog because it's supposed to be about healing, or at least exploring what this mental illness is and how to understand it, live with it, adopt healthy coping mechanisms, and eventually overcome... Continue Reading →

The One Where She Comes Clean

Step 4 of Alcoholics Anonymous... If I had to take a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself right now, I would have to admit that I've been avoiding posting anything new for the last couple of weeks. Sorry about that. My sincerest apologies. (That's Step 9) Self-Seeking will slip away One thing I said... Continue Reading →

You Are Not Broken

People with Complex PTSD are not broken. One more time for the people in the back: People with Complex PTSD are not broken! I've been considering the nature of CPTSD lately. One of these days I'll share with you the remarkable experience I recently had working the 5th Step with my sponsor, but for now... Continue Reading →

Out of No Way, A Way Will Be Made

An apology Firstly, I want to apologize for such a long gap between posts. During the events of my last post, I was a little triggered. I recovered --much more quickly than normal, and thoroughly-- but it left me a bit tired. Yesterday was a Speaker marathon at my AA clubhouse. It went beautifully, and... Continue Reading →

How Faith Takes a Hit

By virtue of geography, ethnicity, and tradition, I was raised a Roman Catholic. And although I haven't set foot inside a church for years, and it's going on 20 years since I've seen the inside of a confessional, from a cultural standpoint I am still Catholic in many ways. It's so intertwined with my ethnic... Continue Reading →

Emotional Flashbacks Pt 2

Over the last several weeks, I've been overcome more often by these moments of intense sorrow and a powerful need to break down crying. This is revolutionary for several reasons, but I'll try to only highlight the two most significant. One: I was beaten as a child for showing strong emotion on either side of... Continue Reading →

And Here We Go (Emotional Flashbacks, Pt 1)

Because I apparently will just never know the meaning of the phrase "start slow" (because I never learn my lesson?), I'm diving right into the heady concept of Emotional Flashbacks as discussed in Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. This is for a number of reasons. Mainly, however, it's because when someone is... Continue Reading →

The Why and Wherefore

So...why this blog? A lot of reasons, really. I've been going through a lot of changes lately, most notably after my most recent and darkest suicidal episode since the one that actually landed me in a psych ward years ago. However, it's also the one that actually found me help. I say "found me," because... Continue Reading →

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