The One Where She Comes Clean

Step 4 of Alcoholics Anonymous... If I had to take a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself right now, I would have to admit that I've been avoiding posting anything new for the last couple of weeks. Sorry about that. My sincerest apologies. (That's Step 9) Self-Seeking will slip away One thing I said... Continue Reading →


You Are Not Broken

People with Complex PTSD are not broken. One more time for the people in the back: People with Complex PTSD are not broken! I've been considering the nature of CPTSD lately. One of these days I'll share with you the remarkable experience I recently had working the 5th Step with my sponsor, but for now... Continue Reading →

Out of No Way, A Way Will Be Made

An apology Firstly, I want to apologize for such a long gap between posts. During the events of my last post, I was a little triggered. I recovered --much more quickly than normal, and thoroughly-- but it left me a bit tired. Yesterday was a Speaker marathon at my AA clubhouse. It went beautifully, and... Continue Reading →

How Faith Takes a Hit

By virtue of geography, ethnicity, and tradition, I was raised a Roman Catholic. And although I haven't set foot inside a church for years, and it's going on 20 years since I've seen the inside of a confessional, from a cultural standpoint I am still Catholic in many ways. It's so intertwined with my ethnic... Continue Reading →

Emotional Flashbacks Pt 2

Over the last several weeks, I've been overcome more often by these moments of intense sorrow and a powerful need to break down crying. This is revolutionary for several reasons, but I'll try to only highlight the two most significant. One: I was beaten as a child for showing strong emotion on either side of... Continue Reading →

And Here We Go (Emotional Flashbacks, Pt 1)

Because I apparently will just never know the meaning of the phrase "start slow" (because I never learn my lesson?), I'm diving right into the heady concept of Emotional Flashbacks as discussed in Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. This is for a number of reasons. Mainly, however, it's because when someone is... Continue Reading →

The Why and Wherefore

So...why this blog? A lot of reasons, really. I've been going through a lot of changes lately, most notably after my most recent and darkest suicidal episode since the one that actually landed me in a psych ward years ago. However, it's also the one that actually found me help. I say "found me," because... Continue Reading →

And So It Begins

Welcome! To open, I'd like to share what is perhaps my favorite quote of all time. You'll forgive me showing a bit of my geeky side. Babylon 5 is my favorite show, and this quote is my favorite of all five seasons. I believe it beautifully encapsulates the entire purpose of this blog. "There is a greater... Continue Reading →

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